From Apathy

From the shadows where I’ve been

In the heart of apathy

Behind the blindfold of fatigue

I stand asking,

But I cannot hear:

What is it that I need?

To my knees I fall

But even tears do not come to these –

Dull eyes.

I am sunken in the devil's ship

Away from all excitement;

Far from gratitude.

And the stars who ebb behind the clouds

And the fish beneath the sea,

Hum quietly in their muffled way

Calling out to me.

But these ears are blocked with pain and knowing,

This heart flooded with the salt.

And there in all lies sorrow

Like some senseless, heavy quilt.

Standing now

Just long enough

Going further, one step more.

Something falls to silence now,

And empties all there was before.

The quiet folds away old thoughts

And stillness enters now this place,

In and out

– Surrender now

To never-ending space.

Only breath is to be felt within

And to outwards be let go,

This is what it is

To surrender to the stillness –

To be. But not to know.

And from that place of nothingness,

Where nothing now is held

A light erupts from in the soul

So universal love is felt.

Joy and peace descend upon

This body that was far

And human thoughts do die within

To open who we truly are.

The Trees & Me

Do you hear me trees?

Do you remember my name?

Do you recall how we sat together

And it was the world that you explained?

Now I see callous mouths

Come to instruct you gone

And the butterflies that watched us

Are singing a new funeral song.

Soft light that held us

Will you come and hold me still?

Alone in a gold world

That once with emerald was full.

Let me seek solace in memories of branches I knew.

Do you think of me trees?

I’m always thinking of you.

The Midnight Garden

Nothing is there to know when we are standing at the foot of the hour

In the place with the midnight garden.

We only really become alive at night 

At the time when all else is still 

And something inside us is breaking 

The chime on the grandfather clock feels louder somehow 

And the roses who usually sprig with the hum of bees and catch the golden light 

Are dull now 

But they have a kind of elegance their daytime counter does not possess 

Blessed be the stupor of the tree of time 

Who remains infinite in his elderly pose

And watches over us all, no matter the hour;

And the twiglets and vines that rise over the brick home 

Leading us neither outwards or away 

Nor taking us over the pass where we no longer care to tread 

We are not tired, no

But there is silence surrounding what is alive;

There is stillness surrounding what is bursting 

It is a time to wake in a new way 

In the surrounds of the dark

In the memory of death 

In the momentary out-of-body experience

That carries us everywhere, and nowhere

And we sing the song that is only inside us 

To be heard only by us